Failure IV: The Sermon

WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN PEOPLE

We're skipping the fanfair and going straight to the fat woman:

9. They are constant reminders everything is, in fact, stupid nonsense. As Vicious the Runt has stated, "Just roll around with the sun on your belly, why don't you? See?! It's nice!"

8. They are symbiotic and loyal if you earn such loyalty; they'll kick in the dog in the nuts for you if they have to. But they'll only give what they get.

7. They don't let you get overly Aneristic, as every time you get used to a weird habit and adapt to it to the point you nearly ignore said habit was weird, they change it.

6. They don't care what you look like. They do care how you're feeling.

5. They're only somewhat dependent on you. And that's a preference, not a necessity.

4. They constantly remind you the objects you own are temporal and of no real value.

3. They yell at you when you've truly fucked up or been neglectful, but drop it not five minutes after the situation is rectified.

2. They guard your dreams from turning nightmare (they got your cosmic back, yo). Why do you think you can't sleep alone?

1. Repeat #9.