Catastrosphic Contusory Dispondenism (CCD), Kills 20 in Atlanta

AP NEWSWIRE: ATLANTA, GA 2045: Catastrosphic Contusory Dispondenism (CCD), Kills 20

Twenty people now lay dead from the incurable, contagible disease, CCD.

Investigators on the scene report there are no obvious contusions; however, CCD is heavily suspected.

"I felt nothing," said a victim (identity protected by really good lawyer); "But these these bruises? Oh my god. Please save me!"

CCD, as the disease is now commonly called, is an auto-immune dysfunction in which, as we all know, does not allow the body to heal itself from otherwise normal bytes and blows as it may experience. Symptoms include, but are not isolated to:

BTW IF you have any of these symptoms, contact your doctor RIGHT NOW don't keep reading: your important existence to the elections this year of Our Lord supercede all:

depression
lethargy
zits
confusion
zits
inability to complete a sentence
zits

The twenty people now laying dead where all said to have "gone outside". This is not recommended, according to Dr. James A. Watever, from the Institute of St. U. Iniase:

"The disease is highly contagious and still on the run of our profits... we're trying to find a solution. In the meantime, don't do anything I wouldn't do. HA. Ha. ha. ha ha."

CCD has reportedly killed over 4M as of this writing, It's first noteable cases started in 2003; but data is lacking. The body is simply no longer to heal itself from any one blow; a punch is a lifetime of suffering for a CCD victim. Bruises do not heal, broken bones don't either.

CNN recently reportedly the incident of CCD as high as 80%.

Stay tuned for updates...